For As Long As We Want To?

“We are here today, sitting in this building to share in the wedding of ………. and ………, two attractive young people that have come to the conclusion that this wedding will be mutually beneficial; that their genetic matchup will be most likely to produce favourable offspring; a lifetime of financial stability and physical security.    ……., do you agree to stay with ……… as long as you want to; to protect your offspring for as long as you can?”  (a quote from the movie ‘The Invention of Lying’)

A WEDDING CONTRACT OR A WEDDING COVENANT:

Crazy as it sounds, it is actually what many couples mean when they stand together and say their vows before God and those witnessing their wedding.  They view their vows as a mere contract that can be broken if the other party does not keep their end of the ‘deal’- 50/50.

We have journeyed with many couples through marriage crisis, and the married couples that have survived their crisis are the ones that see marriage as a Covenant – something that is sacred and not to be broken.  They understand that they as individuals are the ones broken and in need of healing and changing – and they ‘fight’ to keep their marriage.  When couples see divorce as an option, they are viewing marriage with a mindset of a Contract.  Divorce never brings the best results – but results in more hurt and brokenness.

Have you ever thought: ‘As long as I want to’; ‘While you keep your end of the bargain’; ‘It is too hard’; ‘I personally have to make sacrifices and changes that are too costly’; ‘I just don’t think we are compatible’; ‘I married the wrong person’; ‘Divorce would be the best option’; ‘I have fallen out of love’. . .

COMMITMENT:

The answer to the above statements are found firstly in the commitment to the marriage covenant. We encourage you to close that door of divorce – and fight for your marriage.  It is not what you get, but what you can give to your marriage.  You can find the answers to marital ‘problems’ once commitment is firmly in place.

THE POWER OF THE VOWS:

We know one young couple who recently renewed their vows after a year – not because of lack of love or commitment – but for the power of the vows they made to God and each other.  Married 34 years this month, we have often spoken our vows again to each other on our wedding anniversaries.  Not because we doubt them or lack love, but because the power of the vows we made and continue to live out moment to moment, daily, yearly: “…I promise to love you, in the good times and bad, whether we are rich or poor, sick or healthy, until the Lord returns or death separates us.”

If you don’t remember your wedding vows, write some new ones together and repeat them yearly to each other.  You can read some heart felt marriage vows posted on www.beating50percent.com/vows  that will inspire and encourage you to have a Covenant Marriage: a marriages that is undividedly devoted, completely committed, persistently selfless, value-centered, joy-filled, and love-based.