6 CHARACTERISTICS OF STRONG FAMILIES
Have you ever wondered what makes a family strong? Have you looked at some families that seem to have it all together, there seems to be unity; they’re not arguing all the time; and they enjoy being together?
When we had young children, we used to watch other families and see what was working for them. When we saw a family that really stood out as healthy and strong, we would ask the parents what their secret to success was – what had worked for them. Then we would try and apply it to our family situation if at all possible. This was very successful for us, though we wish we knew more!
There have been many surveys completed on the breakdown of the family unit. But recently it has come to our attention of a positive evaluation done on the family. Since 1974, around 24,000 family members from 35 nations have been interviewed in more than 60 studies. Regardless of culture, social class or composition of the families, 6 characteristics have been identified as to what makes a strong family. This is exciting to us, and this is the findings:

1. Strong families demonstrate appreciation and affection for each other.
2. Strong families trust each other and can depend on one another.
3. Strong families practice positive communication.
4. Strong families spend enjoyable, quality time together.
5. Strong families are united by a shared faith or shared values.
6. Strong families are able to manage stress and crisis effectively.

These 6 characteristics may seem pretty obvious and simple to some – and to others an impossible feat! Sadly, many adults have not had the examples, experience or skills to put these 6 characteristics into practise in a family. Healthy families need to encourage other ‘not so healthy’ families onward. More educational and empowering programmes need to be available for families. We want to be part of the solution. Do you?

You got to love this simple dessert – Peaches and Cream! It is a heavenly combination.

I am reminded of this every time I spot the bold ‘Peaches and Cream’ signage here in Auckland city – oh but wait – that’s right – it isn’t a beautiful dessert shop – it is an adult sex shop!!  And I find myself so annoyed that something so beautiful and delicious has been stolen of its innocence.  I feel robbed!! It makes me want to open a decadent dessert shop right beside them and naming it ‘The Real Peaches and Cream Delights”.  Have you ever felt like that?  Annoyed that innocence is robbed?

The more we work with couples, the more we see how much is getting robbed from marriages, and yes, even in this whole area of sex.  We are surrounded by sexual perversion on movies, lyrics of songs, literature we read, images we are exposed to at a click/swipe of the finger – it is all there robbing us of the innocence and beauty of what God designed as “good”.   Couples can be struggling sexually within their marriages and feel helpless to know what to do about it.  We may not understand all the reasons why, but we do see that couples are getting robbed of the understanding of why they have this unique bonding that God designed for them.  Sexless marriages are now becoming a common thing, (defined as having sex less than 10 times a year.) What has happened?

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I was determined to be the perfect parent!  I saw the mistakes my parents had made – I was sure I was going to be different.  Now, with our sons 32, 31 and 26 years, and Grandparents to 4 gorgeous little ones, we see parenting so differently!

As young parents, there is such a struggle to bring balance: setting up a home, finances (or lack of them), training your children in obedience, education, . . .  a life full of busyness, often responding to the urgent above the important . . . afterschool dance and swimming lessons, rugby/soccor practise, and juggling demanding work schedules.  (The list seems endless!)

 FIRST TIME AROUND:

We discovered right away that our children didn’t come with an instruction manual that answered our many questions!  Sleeping? Feeding? Raising them?  Each child was different and had a unique personality and needs, responding individually to discipline and different love languages (i.e. gifts, quality time, acts of service, touch and words of encouragement).  We devoured the ‘How to Raise Children’ books, as we looked for answers to their different stages in life.  And we prayed, asking God for much wisdom to raise our 3 sons.  Thankfully, while our sons were still little, we noticed we had some amazing families around us in our church family that had grown up young adults, as wonderful caring respectful examples, that loved being together. So we asked their secrets.

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