3 sections to a healthy family – ‘The House of Oneness’ (Part 3)
Foundations: What is the ‘core value’ that your family is built upon?
4 Pillars that act as frame work in a healthy family: Trust; Understanding; Respect and Love are the keys for unity in a healthy family.
6 Characteristics that protect the family unit: Commitment; Time Together; Positive Communication; Expressing Appreciation; Spiritual Commitment; Conflict Resolution.
HOUSE OF ONENESS
The husband and wife become the architects of their family – deciding the quality of the structure and design, through their values and beliefs they bring into the marriage. The choices parents make determine the outcome of the family! Let’s look at the 6 characteristics that protect your family:
COMMITMENT TO FAMILY: No one can be successful at anything without commitment! What are you committed to? Living beyond something other than yourselves; wellbeing of others in the family; money; personal happiness; position? Where are your priorities?
SPENDING TIME TOGETHER: Healthy families celebrate together, solve problems together, enjoy meals together and purposefully invest time in family. Like oxygen is life to the body, so is time to the family. It is the most valuable gift we can give each other.
Three vital commitments a healthy family needs: a regular family time; a regular couple time away from the children; and individual time with each child.
EXPRESSING APPRECIATION: Healthy families create a culture where they learn to see each other with ‘positive’ glasses – focusing on the good in each other and not the faults that they see. This takes practise and intentionality e.g. choose to identify one person in the family (taking turns) by having a special coloured plate at dinner time for them, then everyone saying something they appreciate about that person during the meal; having a wall, door or space in the house where positive things are written up weekly to praise appreciation or even thank each other.
POSITIVE COMMUNICATION: We start off as couples with positive communication – and over time, our communication can become destructive or negative if we are not careful. Couples (and families as a unit) need good tools to handle conflicts that will arise in their relationships. e.g. having good boundaries for safe conflict, and using time out signals.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION: This is not a fantasy – all families need to learn how to overcome crisis and conflict which is inevitable in life! Healthy families learn how to keep short accounts with each other, settle matters quickly and walk in humility and forgiveness.
SPIRITUAL COMMITMENT: If Christ is the foundation of your family unit, then this will be the obvious covering for your family. Our selfless living – a heart to live out the reality of God’s love, grace, mercy, peace and joy in our families. The family is the most important yet hardest place to reflect God! We can wear no masks with the people that know us the most. This is where real discipleship takes place. Loving and teaching our children about God – our actions speaking louder than words!! They will know you are my disciples when you have love one for another!
The parent’s choices determine the outcome of the family. They are the Architects!
Build a house of oneness and unity as you grow to be a healthy family today!
