Who is Driving Your Car?

Ian Grant, (NZ relationship expert), has been quoted to say “Marry the person you love and two years later you love the person you marry”.

Have you wondered why this is?  Isn’t love an emotion/passion that burns within, or does it simply burn out!? Or like the large portion ending in divorce – simply crash!

Love is a mixture of things.  Yes, love is a feeling, emotion or passion – changing like the seasons. Created and destroyed – people everywhere seemingly ‘falling in and out of love’. But love is also a verb, (an action) – something we do –  as in a loving act.   And most importantly, when the feelings are in the negative – love is a choice! So let us ponder that further.

We live with our feelings/emotions, but should we be led by them? Feelings are important indicators of what is going on inside us, but if we allow them to be the drivers in our marriage (car), then we will be in for a crash.  They make great passengers in a car, and only that, because they are not reliable. So the question is today – who is driving your car?

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Perfect Parenting?

I was determined to be the perfect parent!  I saw the mistakes my parents had made – I was sure I was going to be different.  Now, with our sons 32, 31 and 26 years, and Grandparents to 4 gorgeous little ones, we see parenting so differently!

As young parents, there is such a struggle to bring balance: setting up a home, finances (or lack of them), training your children in obedience, education, . . .  a life full of busyness, often responding to the urgent above the important . . . afterschool dance and swimming lessons, rugby/soccor practise, and juggling demanding work schedules.  (The list seems endless!)


We discovered right away that our children didn’t come with an instruction manual that answered our many questions!  Sleeping? Feeding? Raising them?  Each child was different and had a unique personality and needs, responding individually to discipline and different love languages (i.e. gifts, quality time, acts of service, touch and words of encouragement).  We devoured the ‘How to Raise Children’ books, as we looked for answers to their different stages in life.  And we prayed, asking God for much wisdom to raise our 3 sons.  Thankfully, while our sons were still little, we noticed we had some amazing families around us in our church family that had grown up young adults, as wonderful caring respectful examples, that loved being together. So we asked their secrets.

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For As Long As We Want To?

“We are here today, sitting in this building to share in the wedding of ………. and ………, two attractive young people that have come to the conclusion that this wedding will be mutually beneficial; that their genetic matchup will be most likely to produce favourable offspring; a lifetime of financial stability and physical security.    ……., do you agree to stay with ……… as long as you want to; to protect your offspring for as long as you can?”  (a quote from the movie ‘The Invention of Lying’)


Crazy as it sounds, it is actually what many couples mean when they stand together and say their vows before God and those witnessing their wedding.  They view their vows as a mere contract that can be broken if the other party does not keep their end of the ‘deal’- 50/50.

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