‘Peaches and Cream’ – I feel robbed!!!!

You got to love this simple dessert – Peaches and Cream! It is a heavenly combination.

I am reminded of this every time I spot the bold ‘Peaches and Cream’ signage here in Auckland city – oh but wait – that’s right – it isn’t a beautiful dessert shop – it is an adult sex shop!!  And I find myself so annoyed that something so beautiful and delicious has been stolen of its innocence.  I feel robbed!! It makes me want to open a decadent dessert shop right beside them and naming it ‘The Real Peaches and Cream Delights”.  Have you ever felt like that?  Annoyed that innocence is robbed?

The more we work with couples, the more we see how much is getting robbed from marriages, and yes, even in this whole area of sex.  We are surrounded by sexual perversion on movies, lyrics of songs, literature we read, images we are exposed to at a click/swipe of the finger – it is all there robbing us of the innocence and beauty of what God designed as “good”.   Couples can be struggling sexually within their marriages and feel helpless to know what to do about it.  We may not understand all the reasons why, but we do see that couples are getting robbed of the understanding of why they have this unique bonding that God designed for them.  Sexless marriages are now becoming a common thing, (defined as having sex less than 10 times a year.) What has happened?

Sex is designed as a beautiful act of intimacy between a husband and wife, bringing them together in a bond of physical oneness like no other relationship on earth.  Alas, I don’t need to write about the seedy side of sex, and the multi-billion dollar sex industry in the world.  We are surrounded and encased by a perverted world!  Wrong exposure, false expectations, abuse, busyness, children, and lack of intentional affection are but a few culprits infecting a couple with apathy towards sex.   So how can a married couple keep the purity and wonder of the gift of sex between them?

Fight for its purity:   For those couples who have had sexual partners before marriage, or fed themselves a steady diet of porn, this will be a struggle. Our brains take a photo of those past memories – called ‘imprinting’ –  and attempt to distort and destroy the beauty of the sexual purity ordained for you as a couple.  You will need to imprint new images of your spouse on top of the old images – recapturing the beauty within your marriage.  This will take time and intentional actions to do. It can be achieved, so don’t give up!

See sex as a gift:  A gift once received needs to be used and enjoyed.  Don’t put this gift on a shelf and forget the wonder and pleasure designed for your intimacy, or be robbed of this heavenly delight.  Make time, keep sex a priority, and learn how to use this gift to bring pleasure to each other.  Enjoy!